He must become GREATER, I must become LESS. John 3:30. - Stephanie Woody

Feeling Normal Behind Bars.

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

As I walk past the gigantic trash can, past the parked cop cars, behind an eerie building that could belong to an evil witch- the landscape looks more like a scene from a bad horror flick than a city court house...

read more at www.stephaniewoody.com and don't forget to subscribe to my new blog!!

Im never gonna leave -God.

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

meet abbey.

she is one of my best friends. For those who might not know me as well, my cats are my children. They own the house and yes, I am that crazy cat lady...

wanna know how this ties into God? go to www.stephaniewoody.com to find out! and don't forget to subscribe to my new blog :]

New Blog Site!

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

Hello!!!

I just wanted to let you guys know I will no longer be publishing blogs through my World Race page. My past blogs will still be available, but any new blogs will now be posted here...

www.stephaniewoody.com

I hope you all join me in the move!
and don't forget to FOLLOW the new blog too, you can do this by clicking on "follow" on the bottom right side of the new page.

Loteria!

Tue, 3 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

**Bingo & Spaghetti Dinner Fundraiser**

We would LOVE for you all to join miss Sarah Moon and I for a fun night of BINGO and a yummy spaghetti dinner
(with homemade sauce!) as a means of us raising money for our upcoming mission trips. annnd a HUGE thanks to
Mr. and Mrs. Stoerner for hosting this at their house.

Saturday, January 21st

7:30 PM

403 S. Lois Lane, Richardson, TX 75081

Sarah is raising money for Watermark's e3 Ethiopia trip in July (http://www.e3partners.org/)
Her total funds she needs to raise is a little over $3,900 and she needs the majority of it by February 1st.

I am raising money for the G42 Leadership Academy in Spain (http://www.g42leadershipacademy.org/)
My total funds I needs to raise are $6,300 + a plane ticket. This is a 6 month trip and I would be departing the first part of April.

If you can't make it out, but would still like to donate to either one of us you may visit

Sarah's personal fundraising page at:
http://www.e3partners.org/smoon

and Woody's at:
http://www.g42leadershipacademy.org/donate

Your support is SO APPRECIATED!!!
whether through prayer or financially, we are so blessed to have you guys on our team!!

confessions of a completely broken woman of God.

Fri, 9 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Jesus calls us to confess out loud our thoughts, fears and sins. so this is my attempt to get out just a glimpse of what has been on my mind the past 6 months. In hopes of helping me process, but also showing others they are not alone

****

PART UNO:
Since being home as you can imagine I have been bombarded with so many questions What was your favorite country? What did God teach you? How is being home? etc. the one question I could never answer in words though was- "Why is re-entry so difficult?"

Well until this week that is. This past Tuesday I was able to go to The Porch for the first time in 2 months and man was JP's message dead on to what I am going through right now.

He spoke on "What it means/looks like to be satisfied in suffering"- I highly suggest you go listen to it HERE.

I realized that re-entry is so hard because the race is a somewhat controlled environment. In a sense of you are always with the same people, you are forced into community 24/7 and because of how we are living and traveling we HAVE to rely on God in ways we don't have to here in America.

SUFFERING is an opportunity for you to have FAITH.
FAITH is an opportunity for you to receive Jesus' BLESSINGS.
and God's greatest blessing is His PEACE. us trusting him.

I had a glimpse of this while overseas. I trusted Him. I had indescribable peace. I saw His many many blessings. from saving my teams' lives in Africa, to providing food and water and beds when we didn't have that on top of all the miracles we saw God give to the people we were ministering with and to.

re-entry has been hard because to be completely honest I have not figured out how to have that kind of faith in Jesus over here. I had a glimpse of it and now I strive to be that person in America, but our culture has everything going against us. We don't live in 24/7 community. Our culture teaches us that life is all about ME ME ME. It is about being comfortable, not relying on God to provide. While on the race it was less about ME and more about HIM. Learning to trust God I have learned is a process. just like it is with people. We must train ourselves. and so my question is how do we live this way in America?

****

PART DOS:
When I first got back my community group read the book "So Long, Insecurity" by Beth Moore. I hated the book at first. It was very hard to swallow. It is not a feel-good book, but a lets-call-you-out-on-exactly-how-it-is kinda book. At the end she has a prayer. It is too long to post it all on here, but I wanted to re-post the parts that hit home the most with me and what I have been struggling with...

Dear God,

I come to you this moment because I am in need of some things only You can give me. I need restoration. I need healing. I'm sick of sulking. I desperately need and want to be delivered from my chronic insecurity. You know what motivates me. You know what shuts me down. You have not given me the spirit of fear, but of POWER, LOVE and a SOUND MIND. Grant me the supernatural confidence that I am safe with You and loved by You.

You know why I think like I do and why I feel like I do. You know my every thought. You know my every disappointment. As you reveal Yourself to me, I ask that You also mercifully revel myself to me. Grant me insight into patterns I've developed and give me answers that bring healing. Help me to trust You and only shed light where You're willing to heal. I am painfully aware that I have created some of my own misery, with my relentless pursuit of control forgive me for my unbelief. Forgive me for the inordinate self-protection that has only managed to imprison me.

I also ask You to pull up the roots of insecurity that were not of my own doing and usher in healing and restoration. I give You my whole heart. touch every broken and wounded place with Your healing hand. Where there is still life and opportunity, bring redemption to those relationships. Help me to understand that if I do not seek healing and wholeness, I will instead end up perpetuating the cycle of injury. Help me to see where I am overly sensitive and where I put too much pressure on relationships. Help me to quit saying "This is just the way I am" and remind me that I am capable of transformation with You. Help me to cease being so easily wounded. Help me to realize that it is pointless to demand that others love me more or love me better. I cannot put a human in charge of my security without setting them up for certain failure. Help me to not find perfect people, but genuine people.

Please restore my soul all that insecurity has stolen from me. Transform what drives me. Extinguish what triggers me. Give me discernment to call a lie a lie. You recognize my attempt to fill the void with things that never suffice. Flood my life with purpose and compassion. Empower me to trust You and not fight for control. YOU are my security, O God. Use change to provoke what needs changing in me. Nothing is without purpose and nothing has thrown off the plan. Your intent is to make a wonder out of me and show me what You can do through me. You mean to increase the praise that comes to You because of my life!

Love,
Woody

it's beginning to look a lot like...

Mon, 5 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

***Christmas!***

D
With the holidays near, the cold winter, warm fires and hot chocolate...

Would you like custom designed Christmas
cards or Holiday party invites?

OR

Do you need a babysitter for your kidos or
a dog walker/cat-sitter while you are gone (DFW area)...

then I am here to your rescue!

*****

as a way to raise support money for G42,
I am offering up these services for my friends and family.
email me: sswoody@me.com

or

you can donate HERE
>> donate air miles by emailing me <<
or you can send a check to:

G42
Donation for Stephanie Woody
P.O. Box 130611
Houston, TX 77219-0611

Here are some examples of recent design work I have done for friend's weddings,
save the dates and baby showers...

OR

G42 Leadership Academy

Sun, 4 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Well folks, it sure has been a while.

I can't believe it is already December. This time last year I was in Senga Bay, Malawi, with 90 degree weather celebrating the holidays with the lovely Matthee family. boy do I miss them. and now I'm in Mesquite, Texas at my grandparents house watching the Cowboys on a very cold and rainy night. even as I try and type this izzie is in my lap nibbling at my fingers for attention. she is more important of course or so she thinks she says meow by the way.

[ So where have I been? What have I been up to? ]

I can say God has blessed me with a couple of next step opportunities. The first couple of months home was very hard. re-entry has taken much longer than I anticipated, but God is faithful :] About 3 months after being home He provided a temp job for me at a courier business that even sent me to London at the end of October for 3 days! I got my travel itch outta me for the time being.

I am also honored to have been helping start up an equipping discipleship ministry at one of the main Dallas jails downtown for the past month and a half. We have been able to go into the jail once a week and share the Gospel to 10-20 girls in one of the tanks. I tell you this not to boast, but to show you guys that God is moving here just as He was while I was on the World Race. We have already seen more fruit than expected with these women and I'm excited to continue this while God has me in Dallas. God is good and He has been using the class in mighty ways.

[ Now, what is next for me? Where am I off to? ]

So this is it again. You've helped support me. You have followed me around the world and read every word. You've sent me many encouraging emails and comments. And You have prayed endlessly for me.

This has meant the world to me. This has meant the world to those I met around the world, that their stories are known and remembered. Following and praying for another missionary/believer/friend is a ministry in itself! so again I thank you. Just because the World Race is over, doesn't mean the 11 months was the end of it. The passion God has given me hasn't stopped. It is running at full force. There is still so much of a story to tell. I have learned I cannot turn back to my old way of life. I have tried this and Jesus is pulling on my heart even harder this time around and in a way I am more fearful, but this is me jumping all in again...

In May, during our last month of the race in Malaysia I began to search for more, for what would be next. I applied and was accepted into a leadership academy located in Spain called G42. I however, have put that on hold the past 6 months because I did not have completely clarity on when to go. I knew I needed to spend time with my family and I also had personal healing I needed to overcome. While, I know I will be constantly growing I now feel this is a great next step in continuing to heal, re-adjust and find more specifically what God's calling is in my life.

[ So what exactly IS G42 you ask? ]

It is a network of Christ-followers with the mission to plant churches, businesses, & ministries to spread the Kingdom of God around the world-to inspire and develop leaders who are passionate about giving their lives to the Message of Christ.

click here for the website

Basically, I would be moving to Spain for 6 months to be discipled, equipped and trained, while living in authentic community all the while discovering even more who I am in Christ and using that freedom to make an impact in the world. The program would not end after 6 months. It would only be the beginning of a lifetime of ministry God has called me into.

Your donations would not be "sending me to school," but instead your money would be going toward seeing dreams become a reality here in America and overseas

-rescuing prostitutes and shutting down brothels
-pulling people out of lives addicted to alcohol and drugs
-ending the AIDS epidemic in Africa
-seeing Haiti restored
-instilling into the young generation like me the desire and fire to spread the kingdom where it doesnt exist.
-to help others learn THE TRUTH. that the Bible is the truth. that healing IS possible. that we can overcome our slavery to our sin. and that we can experience true freedom and love because the power of Christ is in us.

This is why I am writing you. To ask you all to JOIN ME again. Partner with me. I know times are tough and it is the holidays, but I need YOUR help to continue this story because I can't do it without you. To help add to my story so I can in return help add to yours and be a part of your lives as much as you have been an influence to mine.

[ the not so fun financial logistics ]

I have two options of when I can start. One session is starting soon- January 7th and the other in April. I am going to leave this up to Jesus! If He brings in the money in less than a month, great!! If not, but in 3 months, then great too! I completely believe God can move mountains and will guide me to the term he desires for me.

I need to raise $6,300 for the whole program (this includes my room and board, books and food) 1,300 of that before I go for the first month + I need to raise additional money for my plane ticket (or if anyone has the gift of letting me fly standby or air miles that would be a HUGE huge help!)

**If God has placed it on your heart to donate to my academy fee please click HERE and follow directions. (please NOTE: if you made donations to my World Race fund, DO NOT donate off of this website for G42. AIM is NOT the same organization. I am just still using this blog for now)

**If you wish to donate to my air travel please email me at sswoody@me.com.

[G42, the 42nd generation is registered with the Internal Revenue Service as a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. Donors will receive receipts for their gifts with the understanding that the disbursement of those gifts lies completely at the discretion of G42 and that the gifts are non refundable and non transferable, per IRS regulations. Gifts may be tax deductible; please consult a tax adviser]

my Catch 22.

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Oh re-entry. How i never expected you would be so hard. I've been home now almost 3 months (which feels like it just flew by when I think of months as in countries) and the only word to explain it is well: ROUGH.

everything is the same. but yet nothing is the same.

What I mean is physically Dallas hasn't changed much- minus a bridge thats popped up here and there and that we now have three In-N-Out Burgers within in the metroplex all with 4+ hour drive through lines might I add. I remember how to get places and driving came back to me like riding a bike. But to me Dallas is completely different because I have changed. I've really struggled with going to church for one. It just isn't the same. I use to absolutely love going to worship. I would look foreword to it during the week. Now I find myself super overwhelmed by the crowds and the cliche mega American church vibe with auto-tuned effects blaring from surround sound speakers. Don't get me wrong- I love me some rockin concerts, but I find myself so distracted. by the music. by the people. I just want to be in His presence and all I can do is concentrate on not judging those around me or I can't help but think about the 3rd world churches I visited. some with no electricity or Bibles even but instead filled with more passion and dedication than I have ever experienced.

I'm not trying to bash or hate on America. In fact, I know that God gives abundantly. Scripture says everything He gives us is good and a blessing and I know there are so many here in Dallas who have much and give even more back to those who are in need. That is not my point.

My point is I am stuck.

I have come home more broken than ever. Confession time I have never been in a season like this. Where loneliness seems to flood me. Where the busyness of life is already beginning to stress me out again. I feel numb to His presence here at home. I'm torn. stuck. in a funk. whatever you want to call it I want to worship the Lord with all my heart and I know the only way to peace and happiness is through intimacy with Him. BUT every time I go to worship, I feel a block. call it distractions. or bitterness or just a fuzzy radio wave. i dunno. I feel like an alien back at home. I feel like I will never "fit in" again. Which then I think isn't necessarily a bad thing I don't want to go back to my old life. I'm NEW in Christ. but then I realize I already have gone back in some ways and then the guilt hits me. the confusion. why does everything seem to be about ME here? The qualities I thought I had overcome have surfaced their way back up. Why did God send me to the nations? surely not to come back home and be in the same routine as before. but to be a Light. to share the experiences. the struggles. the mountains God conquered. I know the why. I know the truth. I just don't know the HOW.

HOW do I overcome this? HOW do I get out of this rat race I keep running over and over again? HOW to live like we did overseas here? HOW do I build the same kind of community. HOW do I find the medium between desiring living a missionary life with less VERSES a life of excess and independence when God has me in Dallas?

love.love.
a stuck missionary cat lover.

Mr. Brian Cooke.

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

elllllo supporters! I want you to re-meet my dear dear friend Brian Cooke (the dude in the middle):

P squad and my team met Brian while we were in Malawi right after our car accident. He took such good care of us and just loved on us the couple of weeks we were healing. I wrote about the story here and Daniel has a video of him that I posted below.

When we met Brian, he was not a believer. However, I would like to share my excitement in that Brian not only LOVES Jesus now, but he is also leaving for the world race himself in just two months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brian currently lives in Boston. He has a HUGE smile. He can cut your hair. He loves volunteer work. He is super silly and his second home is Malawi! He is on the B squad (yupp they are back to the beginning of the alphabet) and is going to be lead by P squads one and only lovely Stacey Compton!!!

Currently, Brian is in a lot of need for support raising. I know God's will is for him to go on the race and there is no doubt in my mind he is going to bring Kingdom to the nations. soo supporters if you are sitting here wondering "how can I continue to help support God's work overseas?" or if you are sitting there thinking "I love what Adventures in Missions is doing across the world..." then please consider praying for and supporting Brian! It is stories like this that will continue to happen through other world racers for God's name to continue to be glorified.

****

Here is something Brian wrote on his blog... [www.briancooke.theworldrace.org]

"While I was in Malawi I came across a group of American Christian missionaries.wonder who that could beyes, The World Race P squad!!! They came to stay at my hotel for 6 month debrief. I got to know most of them very well and formed very good friendships with them. I had never been religious, but I was open to hear what they had to say. Turns out, I was listening pretty good!!! And my life changed for ever a few weeks later!! God came into my life and I accepted him with open arms!!

Just to let everyone know, if you told me 1 year ago that I would be singing Jeses' name, traveling the world preaching the gospel, reading the Bible, if you told me that I would be a Christian!!! I would have told you to (choice words I try not to use anymore)!!!! But ya know what, that just shows you how AMAZING God is and how powerful he is and what he can do to someone!! Because I LOVE JESUS!! And I will sing about him all day everyday!!!"

CLICK HERE to donate to Brian!

Why do the WR?

Thu, 7 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Whether you are looking into what the heck The World Race is or wondering more of what God was doing in my life this past year... here are 2 videos that sum up what the race is all about and a small glimpse into what I was exposed too... the first from my teammate Daniel Durick, the other from The World Race.

I think they both speak for themselves. ENJOY :]

You're Never Giving Up!

Wed, 15 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

A fellow racer on my squad, Kyle Johnson, had said this and I thought it was totally appropriate: "Dear pre-world race friends and family, it'd probably be easier to act like you've never met me before and just get to know me all over again!"

ha so true. so I have been home two weeks now and I must say I thought leaving the USofA for 11 months would be hard, but reverse culture shock has definitely been more a challenge for me. It has been great to see my family, friends and supporters and for those of you I still have not been able to meet up with yet... I am coming your way soon!!!

When I left for the race there was a lot I thought I had altogether, but this through past year I have definitely realized my desperate need for Christ and how much more I am still in need of Him daily. I realized on my last week of the race that I was in love with 60 people who had become my family. that the life I had left behind a year ago wasn't going to be the same and the I was going home more broken than ever.

boy was I right, but the beauty in it all was and is that I am right where God wants me... it may not be where I desire to be, but I have been learning these past two weeks that I trusted God to take me around the world safely, I trusted Him to provide the funds to do so, I trusted in Him when we didn't have money for food or when we didn't even know where we would be laying our heads for the night, I trusted Him to heal people. I trusted in Him when my team and I were in a car accident in the middle of the bush and I trusted in Him to hear His voice to guide me. and to be honest trusting in God in those circumstances wasn't that hard. It became natural to me. but trusting Him with what is next for me, with my life here back in Dallas when I have no idea what my purpose is yet... why is it harder? why is it any different? it's not! but it is... ha.

I've seen so much brokenness here in America since being home. Here most people don't physically struggle for food or shelter like in Haiti or Africa, but we struggle with depression, loneliness, isolation, drugs, alcohol, fear, people pleasing, control, security, idolatry... and the list could go one. I've realized there is hope in this though, that even though the struggles look somewhat different than overseas, they are the same. I've seen God move mountains overseas and I know He does it here too. God is with everyone, He is everywhere.

Learning how to trust in Christ and being pushed and challenged in ways I never could imagine while on the race has helped me to find my own identity in Him. While this is still a daily struggle for me, I know He is the only thing constant in our lives and in that alone I walk by faith and hope. a new me everyday. despite our circumstances. despite our contentment or not. because a constant cannot fail us, it cannot bring insecurities. our God is good! and He never stops chasing us. He never quits on us, even when we have no idea what we are doing.

so with all this said I wanted to share this song by Jonathan David Helser (video above). It has gotten me through a rough 2 weeks and I hope it comes of encouragement to you too!! youtube him too, his songs are AWESOME.

****

Your love...
it never fails, it never ends.
Your love...
it never quits, it never stops chasing my soul.

You're never giving up
You're never giving up
You're never giving up on me.

****

You're never gonna leave.
You're breaking off the shame.
You're breaking off the fear.
You're breaking off the disappointment of the seasons when I thought you'd left me.
and I can see Your hand reaching out over me
and I can hear Your voice.

I'M NEVER GONNA LEAVE.
this place.
at Your feet God.
I wanna stay all the days, the days of my life.
I won't be afraid of what they may send
I'm never gonna leave.
I'm never gonna leave.
I'm never gonna leave.

Your love...
it never fails, it never ends.
Your love...
it never quits, it never stops chasing my soul.

reunited and it feels so

Wed, 1 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

weird.

I keep getting asked whats it like to be home? and the only word i can think of to even begin to describe it is this.

I've been on American soil now for about 4 days and back in Dallas 3. I stayed the night in LA and got to see an old teammate Melissa. it was perfect! Kimbo and i and her all shared a room, thanks to an awesome friend love you Smooth! when we were checking in the man at the front desk before even talking to us said something along the lines of "wow, you guys just shine with joy, you seem so different." ha random choice of words there? or Jesus? so it was a perfect conversation starter to the first of many about what God has done this past year. I can only hope and pray that those conversations are enriching the lives of others through what God has shown me. this is my ministry now. to share this past year with others.

Once in the room, i realize I had TWO pillows to sleep on TWO. I was excited. only it was almost midnight in LA, but my body thought it is 1PM the next day. so I got about 3 hours of sleep and woke up in time for the sunrise.

***

seeing US customs weird.

sitting in the airport terminal alone and having to take my things with me to the bathroom because there is no one behind to watch them for me weird.

flushing toilet paper weird.

not having to convert money in my head because the ratio is 1 to 1 weird.

not being able to finish any portion of a meal here weird.

not having Kimbo, Nat, Tommy aka Chad :] or Daniel around to fill time with conversation but a TV instead... weird.

not being the only white person in the area and realizing not everyone is staring at me... weird.

realizing that i can understand everyones conversations and that i can now speak English again and then trying to remember HOW to speak English that is not broken weird.

im beginning to wonder too when the point on the race was that it felt more normal for me to be around people that look and talk nothing like me over people that do?... weird.

***

I went to Watermark for the first time in 11 months last night. i was excited for English speaking worship again, but suddenly overwhelmed by all the people. My beautiful squadmate happened to be visiting a friend in Dallas who goes to Watermark too and so Jessica got to come to church with me! half way through the service i realize:

1. I've lost my attention to sit and listen for so long in a corporate church service when im able to understand what they are saying

2. I felt more at home, more myself and more comfortable sitting next to Jess than anything else in that moment. they say home is where the heart is and thats when i realized my heart was still with the 60 people i had been living with 24/7 all year. the 60 people I had just parted ways with days before. the 60 people who were once just strangers too, but soon became who I did life with and the 60 people who walked alongside me touching lives around the world, but none more changed by them than my own.

^P Squad at our final dinner together!

***

its now 6AM, im in my own bed with abbey in my lap and im alone. im still completely jet-lagged, the worse on the race by far. im hungry when i should be sleeping and sleeping when i should be eating.

i write all this because for the first time yesterday i realized re-adjusting to home is going to take some time. it is going to be hard. i feel like a foreigner in my own country. waking up for the first time in 11 months without any of my P squad family near me is well just weird. but them i remembered i felt weird on the race too when we were the only Christians in the area. it was weird living in a house with 40 other strangers month 1 in the Dominican Republic... everything that we are familiar to at one point in time was new and weird to us. AND thats what believing in Jesus feels like, no matter where you are we SHINE His light and we're suppose to stand out of the crowd. only now, my skin color blends me into the crowd, which makes it even more challenging to be Jesus' light in a world full of darkness.

Don't' get me wrong, I am SO blessed to be back home with my family. to get to hug them everyday. to have a comfy bed to sleep in and a warm shower. to have my kitties 24/7. I'm not ungrateful. I just miss the simple life. America is overwhelming and we have so much more than anywhere in the world. it is just going to take some time to get use to home, but to start fresh also and learn how to hear God's voice in an environment I've had a life in before. My thoughts are constantly about the people I met around the world and how they are living life right now. I thank God for that constant reminder. I thank God for my supportive family. I thank God for my P squad family. I thank God for all the memories of this past year that now define WHO i am today in HIM. I thank God for a new season in my life and that the chapter may be done but the book isn't finished yet. that life is only but a bunch of chapters connected together. that i will never forget this past year and the people in it. and I thank God for His protection and provision no matter where I am around the world. He never changes. I am going to take this day by day, with His Spirit leading me where ever that may be. As Tommy said: "Let's make the most of it!"

matthew sixteen:five-twelve.

Sun, 22 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

retold in team DR and team Truth girl's thoughts...

Once upon a time Jesus' disciples decided to go across the lake to where the Pharisees lived. The Pharisees are people who know the law, but do everything to bring themselves the glory instead of bringing God the glory. Jesus had warned them of the Pharisees "yeast". The disciples took it as literally to beware of the bread on the other side of the lake. but they forgot to bring their own bread. so they freak out.

Jesus says: "You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? Do you still not understand? Don't you remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? Or the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? How is it you don't understand that I was not talking to you about bread? But be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducces"

In other words, I like to think of it this way: Jesus is basically saying "Come on people, do you still really not understand? Do you still really not have faith in me? when time and time again I have shown you my provision and my ability to take care of you. How is it you still don't trust me?"

the disciples soon realized that Jesus was not talking about the yeast from the bread of the Pharisees, but what the Pharisees were teaching. to beware of their false life.

****

I like this story because it is simple. a simple concept, but yet just like the disciples we forget to trust in God. He comes through for us time and time again and yet our human instinct is to fall back to our own ways. God literally saved my life 6 months ago in a car accident is this my first thought when i wake up every morning? to thank Him for rescuing me from death? honestly, no. is it a common thought though? yes.

when i read about the disciples a lot of times I think how can they be so stubborn? How come they forget what Jesus just did for them in feeding the 5 thousand or Him just telling them over and over again about His death? or even in the Old Testament with the Israelites. It took them 40 years of disobeying God before He led them to the promise land and did they ever fully obey Him? no. Did the disciples ever truly believe that Jesus actually rose 3 days later?

In John 20:24-31, after Jesus died, Thomas, one of His disciples says: "Unless I see the nail marks in His hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe it."

In our words it would be like saying "Yeah right Jesus rose again. I'll believe it when I can touch His unclean decaying body!" sounds to me like sarcasm.

Here is a modern day example: When Kimbo told me about Osama Bin Laden's death, my first reaction was "No way, that isn't true!" why? because it is something we have lived with for almost 10 years. something our generation has grown up with never believing it would actually happen. realistically, we thought of Osama being stopped as a very small possibility.

it was the same with the disciples. The idea of Jesus being their actual savior when He had been their close friend and mentor was hard for them to accept. isn't it the same with us too? we find it hard to accept the fact that God wants the best for us. Its really hard to fully 100% trust in the Lord. its hard to find contentment in where He has us in the here and now. i'm struggling with this now. lifes not easy, lifes not fair. but our joy is the Lord's strength. not what kind of dice has been rolled for our life.

and isn't that the point? If it were easy, if there was no unknowns, if we got everything we wanted, if there was no hardship... then following Jesus would be easy. there would be no such thing as faith. Jesus' death wouldn't have such a strong meaning to us. we would be belittling God's ability to take care, love and provide for us.

I was reading the book Radical the other day and it kicked me butt, it said: "In direct contradiction to the American dream, God actually DELIGHTS in exalting our INABILITY this is how God works. He puts his people in positions where they are DESPERATE for His power, and then shows His provision in ways that display His greatness."

man. thats where I'm at. I'm desperate for His strength. His trust. His peace. His strength. His forgiveness. for a thankful heart no matter what. I long for all this in Him alone.

how do we do this? How do i do this?

i live day by day. trusting in the Lord moment by moment. He desires us. He delights in us. just as we are. He will heal us. He will bind up our wounds. He will revive us. He will restore us... Let us acknowledge the Lord, let us press on to acknowledge him. as surely as the sun rises, He WILL appear. Hosea 6.

[I guess Jesus' disciples and our generation are more alike than we are different]

a year of firsts.

Fri, 20 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Aside from the farm labor this past month, we have had a lot of time to just spend together we've got our afternoon jogs in, walked down our huge hill into town as a team on the quest to find delicious Indian milk tea, read the Word together, Kimbo, Nat and I beat Tommy at 13 and thus now he has to "boogie" when we tell him until we hit American soil :] annnd we have even spent our nights playing travel Pictionary- something we did a lot in China. fun times.

while having this time to just be with one another as family for the last time we've been reminiscing over what all has happened the past year. we've begun the process of processing. This is something that is definitely going to continue over the next couple of months, but for right now we get to do it together :] it has been fun to remember the things that have happened- big and small. I've recently seen other racers do this on their blogs and I thought it was a neato idea. so I too have come up with a list of things I had never done/experienced before the World Race. things you all have been apart of in this crazy journey. i hope you enjoy reading it as much as I had making it.

the DR & Haiti:
-lived in a 4 bedroom house with 45 other people.
-walked 45 minutes one way there and back everyday for ministry.
-body surfed in Haiti.
-built houses.
-lost at speed uno more than once and had to roll in a disgusting, hot, moldy pile of mud as my punishment.
-fell in love with a little boy named Taphael.
-watched lightening storms before going to bed at 8PM every night.
-lived in my tent for 5 weeks straight in two completely different extreme weather conditions from Haiti to Ireland.

Romania & Moldova:
-escaped with Shannon from multiple hospitals in Romania.
-learned how to speak "Irish"
-cut down a corn field in Moldova.
-learned where Moldova was.
-had a pet kitten!

Africa:
-survived a car accident in the middle of nowhere Malawi.
-lived on a HOT bus with no AC for a whole week
-wore the same clothes for a whole week.
-held my dinner while it was still alive :[
-shaved my head to the skin.
-preached in front of many (never thought I'd do that!)
-held a "sex and marriage" conference to pastors and their wives- haha.
-had Fanta breaks daily.
-created and built a coffee shop.
-lived in a Muslim community.
-ate mangoes without knowing there was worms in it.
-actually not minding a cold bucket shower for the first time ever.
-road tripped across 4 countries in Africa.
-had to stop in the middle of the road because of an elephant crossing in Botswana.
-lived off tuna for a whole week.
-bungee jumped over Victoria Falls!
-walked on a waterfall edge.
-learned to play cricket from our homeless friends.
-swam on more than on occasion in freezing cold oceans.

Asia:
-preached in an overcrowded prison in the Philippines.
-learned a fun game of throwing your shoe at a can by the prison mates.
-heard men in prison for murder sing their hearts out to God.
-danced on stage at a concert in front of hundreds of Filipino students.
-started the train with Kimbo and hundreds of kids.
-made our dinner from scratch over a fire with no locals to help.
-rode on a 30+ hour train in China where we had to literally walk on people to get to the bathroom it was so crowded.
-became friends with a prostitute.
-began my mornings everyday worshipping and praying to God in a closed country.
-ate McDonald's everyday for a week straight I'm not proud of this one.
-biking through the busy streets of Beijing.
-hiked The Great Wall.
-ate a scorpion on a stick.
-saw my friend in Hong Kong and another good friend in Malaysia!
-played with Tigers!!!!
-rode an elephant.
-lived in the same room with 40 other Thai girls.
-experienced Thai New Year with a massive city-wide 3 day water fight.
-hitchhiked.
-farmed in the jungles of Malaysia.
-played with leeches!
-carried bamboo out of the jungle.

with our last day of ministry done and behind us, I'm all packed to move on again to a new month only this time im not moving to an unknown house. it is time to go home! Please pray for strength as we head into an emotional week of saying goodbye to 65 people we have done life with this past year. for the unknown paths ahead. for a smooth transition back to "normal" life. and for the adventures with God to not stop once we are home.

tomorrow i head out for final debrief in Pangkor, Malaysia. near a beach :]

7 days left. woah.

334 days away from home in 15 countries.

Thu, 12 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

About a week ago I was able to have my own room to sleep in for the night. I was visiting my dear friend Katy from back home. She is now in India on her 5th month of the race and our paths happened to cross. even though i was extremely exhausted, it was such a blessing!!! when I woke up the next morning I felt weird. I suddenly realized it was because i was in a room by myself. I had no noise to wake me up or anyone to immediately say good morning too. It had been so long since I had been alone that I had conditioned myself to community living as my norm. who would of thought? I began to think how weird it is going to be sleeping in my own room once I am home. at least i have abbey and izzie :]

how do i even begin to process this past year? with only 17 days left on the race before I go back to life as I use to know it, the culture I was raised in but haven't lived in in a year i have lots of thoughts flowing through my mind. i don't have the time or energy or even ability to share my scattered brain right now, but I'm going to do my best.

traveling from country to country our eyes have seen lots of things beyond our imagination. from the worst poverty in the mountains of Haiti to the super eager hearts in the red dirt of Africa.

this year has been overwhelming to say the least.

I've seen God heal the brokenness throughout the world- the brokenness we have all created as humans- and looking back at this I've been thinking. The World Race isn't a sacrifice. spreading His Word to the nations has been an opportunity of a lifetime. sure, for the past year: I haven't seen my family or friends, I haven't been able to eat Mexican food, I haven't had the same bed/tent/sleeping space for longer than a month, I haven't had the freedom to drive or even be alone ever (except for in the shower!), and I at times I haven't even had a shower or electricity or AC, i haven't had the latest iphone app or seen the newest movies you get my point.

BUT through losing all those things I have gained more than ever before. I have been able to see the world from Christ's eyes- I have seen the sick healed, teammates completely transformed, hope rise in cities of poor spirits, the blood of Jesus wash away failures and the Holy Spirit wreck and mend hearts of many- myself included. I have been able to hear God's voice more clearly and see depths and ways of Him I didn't even know existed 11 months ago, even 2 months ago. By abandoning my possessions, my rights, my "entitlements" as being a wealthy western, my job, my desire to have a marriage, my identity as who i was back in America, my selfish goals I have gained God's ABUNDANCE.

and let me tell you my friends His abundance IS present and moving around the world. In poor countries, in wealthy ones, in Muslim ones- everywhere. was gaining God's abundance easy? absolutely not. Jesus never says it will be.

I have a teammate Natalie. She always brings great intellectual conversations to the table. most of the time too intellectual for me ha but the other night her and I were talking. about the definition of mercy vs. grace. about how when reading certain words in the Bible we should double check our own meaning of them. our own definitions compared to what it may of been back in Old Testament times and even compared to God's definition of it. we talked about the true meaning of justice. that to most it is a means of revenge, to get back at someone. but to God isn't it just bringing right to something that is of wrong?

we then discussed the definition of sacrifice and how it has changed for our generations. in the Old Testament, they used alter sacrifices literally as a means to make themselves good and clean in God's eyes. but now after Jesus came as our ultimate sacrifice our definition of sacrifice has changed. we see it as when people surrender something they highly value because they are perceived as already good or devoted to something or someone. in our case of discussion Jesus.

my point being, what are our hearts focused on? following Jesus isn't a sacrifice. it is an honor. He loves us who are unworthy of His love so much that He wants to share His intimate thoughts with us, He wants to have a personal relationship with us. His abundance is FREE! Jesus has already paid the sacrifice for us, we only have to have the desire to follow and then to put it into action. His freedom and glory are waiting for you whether you are in the states or across the world, i know this because I have seen it first hand, so what are you waiting for my friends?!!

I wouldn't be able to tell you all this without you guys. I know taking the time to read my blogs can be hard to remember and maybe sometimes just not how you want to spend your time, but you guys have no idea how much it means to me knowing there have been people back at home and even in other countries sharing this journey with me and with God. Thank you for reading. Thank you for joining me on this journey of faith. Your encouraging words and prayers and ya'll just "listening" to my stories have blessed me this year more than you will ever know. I hope that God has been able to speak through me to you as well. I hope He has been rocking your world. I know words hold a huge power in the ability to change a generation through your prayers and my blogs I pray this is happening. and I also have learned that a body of believers that love each other have the ability to push open closed doors. this is us working together for the next generation. for the Kingdom of God. this is me sending you all a HUGE thank you from the bottom of my heart until I can get home to thank you and hug you in person for your continual love. your financial support. and for the many many prayers this past year. God is good.

Please pray for my team and I as we finish up our last week of ministry, especially for physical strength as the farm work is wearing us out.

love. love from Malaysia.

^^Tara and i in Thailand :]

^Oh and I woke up this morning and realized it has been a year since I got baptized. oh how sweet that day was with You Jesus :D

Daniel's China Video-"

Mon, 9 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Another video by my awesome teammate Mr. Durick! There is not much of our ministry in the video due to safety purposes- it is more just sights and sounds we saw along the way. But it sums up the culture shock, random dancing, KTV and crazy foods of China pretty well.

****

In this episode, the World Racers make their way into mainland China. The plan was to keep from drawing any attention to themselves while in the mainland. We find out this plan does not work well when there are only a few foreigners in a town of over a million Chinese people.

Watch as the World Racers are given a taste of how vastly different the culture, food, religion, and history is as they take a month exploring the beautiful People's Republic of China.

the bare necessities.

Sat, 7 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

some of us have made it a race tradition to watch certain movies that go along with the theme of our month or the city or the continent we are on. For example, before going into Africa we of course watched The Lion King! before Asia Mulan! and now I just recently watched The Jungle Book and Planet Earth why?

because for our last month of the race team DR and team Truth are in the jungles of Malaysia!!! :]

month 11 has brought on a whole new meaning of 'roughin it'. our ministry this month is literally working on a farm all day. Our lovely contacts Peter and Carol have set us up with Pastor Tony. We are about an hour outside of the capital, Kuala Lumpur, or KL as the locals call it. Pastor Tony owns an organic farm here- where his ministries are solely supported by the profits from the farm. so in other words the farm is self-sustainable. we also get the lovely treat of yummy veggies for dinner every night from the farm.

we are not only living with the bare necessities, but we spend our days with Manik and Nazrul the farm workers. They are originally from Bangladesh and each have wives and two young children back home who they haven't seen in over 2 years. They work from 7am-7pm, 7 days a week, 365 days out of the year all to be able to support the families they never get to see. They are both Muslim. so we are here to not only be a blessing in helping work on the farm, but to also be a living witness of Christ to them. through our actions. Manik is funny. he can speak little English, but it is enough to have us plowing the soil with a hoe and our hands, planting green bean seeds and carrying bamboo literally out of the jungle. there is so. much. bamboo. and how could I forget our daily task of fighting off leeches! yup. leeches. they can smell us from a mile away. thankfully we have our awesome yellow rain boots to save us some time before the leeches can latch on to us.

eatin lunch in the hut^^

the farm work is hard. and it is very hot. The farming isn't on flat soil like back home, but on the hills. I mean the only other time I think I have worked this hard and sweated this much was back in Haiti building houses. it is hard, but oh so much fun. I love the conversations we have while working. like naming all the things you could make out of bamboo and discussing how do leeches even function? ha. not to mention we are surround by the gorgeous jungle and the daily noise of the monkeys!! sometimes i feel like I am on a Disney ride.

it has also been awesome working again with team Truth. we have been with the ladies 3 out of our 4 months in Asia. Tara, Mari, Robin and Brittany are such fun women of God and it has truly been an honor being with them our last month. They have touched my life in many ways they don't even realize. and through them, God has been showing us a lot from leeches and farming...

leeches. gross. it took me a good whole day to get over my fear of them. once I was bit a couple of times, they weren't so bad. they are impossible to avoid, especially after it rains, they.are.everywhere. they remind me of Satan. they suck the blood right out of you. most of the time unless you are looking for them, you don't even realize they are there till after they have let go and you see the remains of them biting you. You can flick them off you, but they will come right back inching their way to you. The only other means of killing them besides hacking them with a machete is by fire or salt. Jesus said for us to be the salt: "You are the salt of the earth." Matthew five:thirteen. Salt is used to preserve and season, to make things better. Without salt, you can't fight off the big leeches. Without Jesus you can't fight off the enemy. put too much salt on your food and you ruin it. force too much Jesus on someone and you ruin their idea of who He really is.

it's that simple.

coming in to month 11 we wanted to give it our all. to not chose out, but to chose into this month. We could easily say "oh it's month 11, we will be home in 20 days so who cares about finishing strong." but that is exactly why I love that this month has been the hardest living conditions we have had and the hardest work we have had to do. There is no internet to distract us or the comforts of air conditioning or a warm bed with kittens or an American toilet everything we are about to go home to. We are getting to live out Matthew 9 or Luke 10. we are literally harvesting and there is plenty to harvest but the workers are few. without our help, it is only Manik and Nazrul to do the work. The Lord has sent us to the harvest field and we have been able to help with every part of the process. We work hard all day, come home exhausted and then sit together playing cards or we worship or just lay in bed reading the Bible out loud together.

it's that simple.

life here in the jungle is simple. God is simple. and i am absolutely enjoying it here :]

Brushing my teeth with Osama Bin Laden

Sat, 7 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Malaysia is full of people. it is a huge melting pot of people from Bangladesh. Burma. China. India. all over. There are Christians here, but the most common religion is Islamic. The majority of the people i see everyday are Muslim. The two men I work with everyday are Muslim. people just like you and i. only they grew up going to a mosque praying to Allah and we grew up going to church learning about Jesus.

living in our little remote jungle village we didn't hear about Osama Bin Laden's death till a couple of days after you guys all knew about it. Honestly, my first reaction was "no way, it is all fake." and while I have not been able to read any newspapers or look at any photos of the incident I have heard about them. I began to hear about people back in the US and their reactions, like the one at the baseball game. I began to see peoples reactions on Facebook too and my next thought was "how can people be happy over a death of someone?" I don't care who it is, how can we rejoice in the fact that we know Osama is in hell right now? this may be blunt and it may be hard for some of you to read, seeing as yes he was an awful man who killed many on September 11th... I'm not trying to downgrade the tragedy. my point being is really hard for me to put into words and so I wanted to share my squadmate's blog. the non-extremest Muslims are no different than you and I. how do i know this? because I am living with them. I see them everyday. I want to share what you guys in America don't see. what our government doesn't show us on TV. the side of Muslims that we have not grown up knowing. they need Jesus just like we do. and Sami couldn't have said it better (I couldn't get the pictures to copy over though)

****

Brushing my teeth with Osama Bin Laden

Every night I brush my teeth with three devout Muslim men. Well to be fair I brush my teeth as they go about their daily chores washing dishes, checking laundry, watching t.v., and even praying. To be even more fair they don't know I am watching. Creepy I know, but their apartment is across a ten foot alley from mine and neither of us has glass windows, just bars.

This month I live above a restaurant in the heart of Kuala Lumpur or KL as the natives call it. We sleep on mattresses on the floor of a large room they have re purposed for a church. It isn't like any American church I've ever been to in fact it is far more akin to some of the Haitian churches I have visited. Its 8 foot windows have only wire and old poster board to cover them. The rain blows in and cools us off at night. The bathrooms are luxurious for World Race standards, aka there is a sink and a shower head in make shift room with bowls to flush the toilet. Our kitchen is two tables in a room with a sink, and I have more than once woken up to the scurry of a roach on my pillow. Yet, there is electricity, clean water, a lock on the doors, and our 5 Malay roommate to make us feel more at ease.

And each night I stand at the bathroom sink staring out of the large window watching these men go about their day just like me. They wear traditional Muslim garb and sit around the table reading newspapers and eating toast. They laugh with each other and playfully slap one another on the back. I can't help but see how similar we are. They brush their teeth just like their parents taught them, and every now and then we make a polite wave towards one another, and go about our lives. We coexist.

The sad part is this shouldn't be so shocking to me. Coexisting shouldn't surprise me at all! But it did. So tonight as I sat there swishing my Listerine my eyes burning with tears, it wasn't from the alcohol burning the germs in my mouth. (the commercials are a total lie by the way, and the only refreshing part about mouth wash is spitting it out!) But my eyes welled with humility. Because despite my years studying international relations and politics at Wheaton, or my time living in Chicago, or growing up in D.C., or my parents, or my travels across the globe and back, I had become racist!

Here I was puzzling at how these Muslim men and I could be living within literally feet of each other, as if we weren't both human. As if they didn't cry when the used mouth wash, or clean their dishes, or read the newspaper. I didn't have to wonder for long how I had become like this, because I knew. I knew that thence 2001 when I was only 12 years old the media had painted these men as my enemy. I watched movie after movie where their only depiction was as terrorists. I saw faces that looked like theirs on the news. I saw names like theirs scroll across the bottom of the t.v. attached to bombs that killed people in markets and buses. I was racist because I was trained to see all Muslims as the enemy.

That sounds extreme doesn't it? It sounds like I am claiming to be brainwashed, like I am not responsible for my own opinions. But that is the truth, I have been culturally conditioned to believe that all men like this would hurt me if given the opportunity. Jack Bower taught me that. I have been taught that all Muslim mosques are covers for terror cells, Lie to me taught me that. I have been taught that the war on terror looks like Muslim men who wear facial hair and robes in public, the nightly news taught me that.

But today in the market I learned that me and a woman in a full burka use the same shampoo, and me and little 6 year old Muslim boy both like fruit mentos, and me and my Muslim neighbors prefer milk in our tea and to use Listerine after we brush our teeth. I know back home today there is a lot of fear. Fear that people will retaliate for what happened to Osama Bin Laden. But I can tell you that same fear ran through the veins of Muslim men and women all across the globe the day after September 11th. Fear that because of what one group of Muslims did there would be retaliation. It's been almost a decade since Osama's name became a household insignia for terror, and in those ten years, almost half of my life, I had been taught to associate him with all Muslim men. But so had my neighbors. In their newspaper I am the enemy, on their nightly news it is my father, brother, or son that is killing their people. To them I am the enemy. Which is exactly what Satan wants. He wants these men to see people who look like me, who talk like me, who dress like me and to judge us, the same way I judged them. To not see my humanity. After all that is what racism is, it is to dehumanize someone.

These picture are what I see daily here in KL, these are the faces of the Muslim world we rarely see in the west. If we want to end the violence, or avoid retaliation we need to stop letting the enemy make us each others enemy. We first must see each others humanity.

Maybe somehow you have been able to stand strong against the media barrage or the societal disapproval of Muslims. But if by the off chance in light of recent events you are like me and need to be reminded. Then allow me the humbling privilege to remind you that women in burkas need shampoo too and that they too have kids that beg for candy at the check out line. Because "All men are created equal" is more than an upstanding sentiment; it is a fundamental truth! Elaborated on by one of our founding fathers but testified to originally in scripture when Jesus came for all men, Jew, and gentile alike! And the blood that He shed wasn't just for sinners like you and me, but for the Muslim men who I brush my teeth with every night.

spaghetti thoughts.

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

this blog is raw. its happy. its difficult. its both. its my life.

the life of a girl who just loves Jesus

****

4/25: Today I got to sleep in until 8:30, wahoo. I spent the morning finishing build a concrete wall with Tara and now I just got done playing badminton with Phillip (my fishin buddy) and some of the girls. who would of thought badminton would be so much fun at this age. tonight we had fried rice AND sticky rice with mangos for Amanda's birthday treat. I could eat sticky rice and mangos for the rest of my life- delicious.

I'm going to miss this.

****

the past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. when i left for the race, i honestly didn't think i would make it the whole 11 months. it was a huge sacrifice for me personally to begin with to leave home and the life i had behind. throughout the race there have still been days where i just want to give up. but i haven't, God has pulled me though. now that i am done with month 10 I have felt satan attack me more than ever. why is it right when you feel God so close, within 10 minutes satan steals your joy? boo.

but then the littlest girl here, Quan, came up to me and just started to sing the alphabet to me. As I held her I felt God saying "it is okay my child, just embrace me." I joined her and thanked God for His immediate comfort :]

****

4/20: we went to a temple today. for Budda. it is the biggest one in Northern Thailand. a first, I just walked around being artsy taking photos and enjoying it. then my eyes were opened. I began to see people after people bowing down to a statue. monks blessing children, even foreigners lighting candles and incense. Tara asked me to pray for these people with her because we know where two or more are gathered the presence of the Lord is present. We knew all we could do was pray that these people would come to know the Lord, that He would revel Himself to them. That they would all have a living encounter with God.

my heart broke. getting through life is a challenge even with Jesus, I can't imagine going through it without Him. but then I also realized we (America) bow down to our own sins everyday. we bow down to materialism, to money, to our pride, to our own needs. BUT God's heart beats for EVERYONE, for all nations and for every individual created in His image.

I left with hope.

****

We left the market the other night in a songtail (their mode of transportation here). The whole way home we all sang songs we had learned in the Philippines. I was full of so much joy. no worries on my mind not much longer and I won't be able to do this. these memories will only be able to be told as I go back home to those who haven't been with me all year.

I'm going to miss this.

****

Gaddy and I were talking the other day about how it would be awesome if Jesus could just appear a times and we could hang it with Him, you know like "Hey Jesus, sup?" we were asking how come He doesn't just do that? then I read John 20:24-31 and it had a whole new meaning to me.

After Jesus died, Thomas, one of His disciples says: "Unless I see the nail marks in His (Jesus) hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe it."

Jesus comes and reveals Himself to Thomas and says: "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

****

Getting to spend Easter with 40+ girls was so fun :] there were no Easter eggs, no bunny, no after church lunch with my family- but that is what i loved about it. it was only about Jesus. This month has been more than just touching the lives of the girls here. God has opened my eyes to the importance of more than just preventing these girls from having a life in the sex industry. It is about providing for them physically, but also providing for them spiritually. These girls get to grow up knowing God and isn't that what is most important? :D

I am truly going to miss these girls and the house parents and the other missionaries here so much. I have loved forming relationships based around God. I hope He brings me back soon to visit everyone. They have touched my life more than they know. I'm not ready to leave them. This month was all about God teaching me to listen for His voice and to obey. To wake up every morning and just let His spirit lead me. and to also learn to trust that He is always speaking to me, even when I think He is not.

****

so what is next? onward to month 11!!! wow. that is crazy to say. Tonight, the 11 of us girls leave Chiang Mai for Bangkok. Our train arrives tomorrow morning where we meet up with the boys and then head by another train to Malaysia!! After about 50 hours on trains (im so over traveling btw) we will arrive in Penang where I will get to see one of my best friends from my church back home Miss KATY GURLEY!!!!!!!! :D

I am stoked!! I get a full day with her before she heads onto month 5 to India. Jesus knows how to cheer us up! be praying for her too as she moves onward in His name.

****

with only 32 more days left on the race it is bittersweet to think about. I'm excited and scared. super sad to leave my friends here, the people I've depended on all year, but excited to see my old ones. ready for a change, but not. going home won't be exactly going home. most of the friends I have left have gotten married and moved to other states, ones on the race, ones in Spain, one I just found out is moving before I get home :[ and others are still at home but with new lives. it's going to be hard. not living on my own again, not having a work schedule this year has been truly amazing but also a huge challenge. and now I'm going home knowing it is going to be just as equally tough. God has brought me through so much and I've learned it's not about stability. being a disciple doesn't end when I hit American soil. being a disciple never ends. and when I feel I have nothing left to give, no more strength I have to remind myself the words of the Lord:

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah forty:twentynine-thrityone.

so here i am. filled with bittersweet emotions. tired but not lost. exhausted but ready for the new battle that awaits me.

this is just the life of a girl who just loves Jesus

the life of a disciple.

i love fishies cuz they're so delicious!

Tue, 19 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

a day (and a video!) in the life of woody and sarah...

April 19th, 2011.

today was a great day. We started the day off by our normal routine. Last week we dug a trench, and cleaned it out to be ready for the concrete. This week we have been mixing the concrete; which is quite an art. You have to build a volcano with the sand/concrete mix, and then pour water in the center to make sure the water stays in, and then mix it all together. Then, we pour the concrete in the trench, smooth it out, annnd

repeat.

After that we worked out P90X insanity style. then took our bucket showers for the day, not that they matter much here since you constantly sweat. After lunch, Sarah and I were bored so we decided to fish with some of the kidos!! we made a deal that whatever we caught we would cook ourselves and eat. Here is a photo dairy and video of our fun day. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did :]

the pond ^^

did i mention we fished using bamboo sticks!

our FISHcabobs.

cookin^^

roastin. DELISH.

****

and random, but this is Nhu and I after church. Nhu is the girl who this place was all started after :]

****

splish... splash.

Fri, 15 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

H20.

water.

agua.

...many names. same meaning: it brings LIFE.

for the past 3 days us girls got to go into the main part of Chiang Mai for the Songkran Festival. It is the Thai New Years and basically they celebrate it with a HUGE city-wide water fight!!!! instead of watching a ball drop and wearing silly party hats- everyone and I mean literally everyone- of all ages are geared up with super soakers, buckets of ice cold water, buckets of yucky warm moat water and even water hoses. people ride around in the back of trucks and on mopeds soaking wet and soaking up the sun. people stand on the street outside their jobs and houses ready to launch water at their next victim, people will even chase you down the street! theres lots of concerts, water fights and guess whose most targeted? foreigners.

Exhibit A:

So the first day there Tara and I decide to walk to the mall. well the only way to the mall we knew of was directly though the middle of the city, right smack dab through the center of the water fight. we were excited. this wasn't going to be a problem, we wanted to experience the festival for all it is worth. except that this day happened to be the only day so far where the sun decided to hide. it wasn't cold outside, BUT when you have had continual iccce cold water thrown on you for over an hour and you realize your lips are now blue you begin to get a little cranky. I began to realize how many people were taking the festival too far, getting wasted while driving and ya know st. patties day in America basically it began to be more frustrating and chaotic than fun. the party was over for me.

you see since the majority of Thailand grows up Buddhist, the Songkran Festival is celebrating Budda. people are constantly going up to the idols and praying and pouring water on Budda. This morning I began to read Isaiah. I got to chapter 4. it had a completely new meaning to me. Isaiah talks about 1. the problem: people not knowing their true God. meaningless offerings, incense false idols. both literally (like in Thailand) and metaphorically (like in America). and 2. the solution: being willing and obedient, walking in the ways the Lord teaches us, walking in the light of the Lord, not trusting in man.

but one verse stuck out to me. 1:28 & 31- "and those who forsake the Lord will perish both will burn together, with no one to quench the fire."

you see just like the festival began to get out of control life without God becomes chaotic. we try to control our future and take on our own burdens. but those are burdens God never intended for us to carry. That is why He sent His one and only Son to die for us. to carry our burdens. literally. if we continue to try and live life without God we will get no where. we WILL perish He says. Only God can put out the fire of pain and sin and greed and so forth why? because HE is the living water we need to kill the fire (or i.e. sin) that has spread into our lives.

humans cannot exist without water.
animals cannot. plants cannot.
the world would be nothing without water.
it would be the end.

God wants HIS living water to flow from us. He wants us to be vessels for Him for His glory. He made us to bring His living water to those around us. to help Him refresh their lives. The longer Tara and I walked through the moat, lost, not knowing where we were, the wetter we got and the colder we got and the more frustrated I became. when warm water was thrown on me I was happy, when cold, I was angry. but neither seemed to satisfy me. I just wanted to get to our final destination home.

God is calling you home, to His arms. He is calling all His children home. stop trying to live life on your own without water because you can't. nothing else will satisfy you. it's impossible. without water the only solution is death. literally. with sin comes death and with God comes life. its that simple. With God there is always a second chance too and thankfully the second day of Songkran I was able to go back out. this time to pray for the people of Thailand and plus the sun was shinning! God totally redeemed the festival that day for me and it was a blast!!!

"for it is time to SEEK the Lord,
until He comes and SHOWERS righteousness on you."
Hosea 10:12.

Remember Nhu.

Mon, 11 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I am currently in Chiang Mai, Thailand working with an amazing organization called Remember Nhu. It is a home for girls at risk of being involved in the sex industry. Their main focus is to work on preventing young girls from ever getting trapped into the industry. to stop the problem before it becomes a problem. The risks of these girls going into the industry can be anything from poverty to having one parent to their parents abusing alcohol or drugs, their parents abandoning them etc. Here is the background on my first week here. It is longer than most of my posts, but totally worth opening your eyes to annnd plus there is a fun video at the end!

****

if you haven't read my last blog about my new friend Grace you should go read it first then come back to this one ever since Cape Town and even more so since meeting Grace in Hong Kong for the past month I have felt God placing prostitution and sex trafficking ministry hugely on my heart. I don't know if it is a calling for my life or just a calling for prayer for it in the next season, but I know the desire is from God.

This month the guys and girls have been separated in order for the girls to be doing bar ministry, to be able to talk and become friends with the girls working in the human trafficking industry. however, I am with two of the other girl teams (11 of us total) that have not been place in human trafficking ministry for the month well the intervention intervention/direct side of that is. We have been doing MANistry ourselves actually. haha. We have been digging and pouring concrete into a trench (that two of my past racer friends actually started themselves!) and laying down gravel around the girls home to prevent flooding during the rainy season. My first thought was what the heck God? I struggle with hearing from the Lord and have the whole race and so when I thought I was so sure about something this really confused me.

but then my teammates brought up a good point. let me back track first

The other night while we were still in Bangkok, I went with some of the girls to walk around the red light district there. I felt blessed to be given a chance to experience Bangkok. I already knew it was a huge spot for this industry and so I went into the night even expecting the worse. What I saw was not what I expected, but still I left completely wrecked. It was different than Cape Town or Hong Kong. my stomach physically hurt from what I saw. The "sex" is all just open and right in front of you. I know these things exist in the states even, but here nothing is hidden from your eyes. You can see the girls from the street inside dancing on poles in bikinis like they are show horses. Girls standing out front with numbers on their shirts so you don't even have to know their names. Men throwing cards in your face with all the sex shows you can have for the night and even young 10 and 12 year old kids selling flowers amongst all of it. The worst was seeing all the foreigners walking around participating or not even participating but acting like zombees, like nothing phased them or nothing was even wrong with the picture. The worst part wasn't even seeing it all, I knew what it would be. I've seen the pictures. The thing that hit me was these people probably don't even know God loves them. not even 1% of Thailand is Christian, only half a percent. most follow Budda because it is their culture, how they have been raised. So trying to teach someone about Christ who is older is much harder. They probably have had no opportunity to know Jesus and so why out of millions of people did He chose me to know Him? and not to be a girl who grew up in this kid of lifestyle. most of the girls in the industry are their to support their families back home. They were told they would just be selling drinks, but you don't make money selling the drinks you make money by selling yourself. do their families know? probably not.

back to my teammates...

they reminded me that God gives us desires for a reason and there is no doubt about the desire He gave me for fighting human trafficking. Maybe I am not spiritually and emotionally ready to be doing bar ministry and wouldn't I want to be fully effective for the Lord on His timing? yes.

Besides this month we ARE working on fighting this issue. On the prevention side of human trafficking. We are not only doing manual labor at the girls home, but we have the opportunity to live in the same room with the girls. there is literally no space other than bunk bed after bunk bed. These girls are rescued from Thailand, Burma and Laos. They are from as young as 6 to 19 and here they receive an education, shelter, a bed, food, support, love and growing up knowing about Jesus and not Budda It keeps them out of the streets and out of the hands of brothels owners.

they say that the average age to be trafficked in Thailand is age 7, because they want the girls before they have a chance of getting HIV. but the legal age is 21. yes I said legal. The probability of getting trafficked for girls here in Thailand is 1 in 5. lots of times the little girls virginity will be sold before she is even 3 because the family knows they will not be able to provide to take care of her, this is the case for some here.

Right now, a majority of the girls are not here. It is their summer time off of school and so some get to go home to their grandparents or a safe family member. But not all have safe places to go home to- we were saying goodnight to the girls the other night and tucking them into bed and I realized how most of them have probably never been tucked into bed. I look over and see the littlest one praying without anyone telling her to. and then I see another girl who had her head buried in her pillow crying. it was her first night in the house. We had one of the older girls Pim translate for us and she told us that she hadn't eaten dinner or even talked because she missed her mom so much. she was homesick in a room full of strangers kinda like when you are little and at summer camp, only this is for way longer and missing her mom who is probably only a teenager herself. Pim said that all the girls and even herself act that way when they first get here, that they all cry themselves to sleep the first couple of weeks. Now Pim says she loves it here. but that night my heart broke for the new girl. there was nothing I could do, but pray for her and love on her this next month. and then it hit me. if it wasn't for this home most of these girls would not be taught about their Heavenly Father and saved from what could have been a horrible outcome. Jesus has rescued these girls just as he has rescued you and me!

So now every morning when I am being woken by little ones poking me at 6AM, I remind myself how blessed I am to be working with an organization that fights the battle BEFORE the pain and before the emotional baggage hits these girls. Despite these girls circumstances, they have so much joy and peace. I love seeing their smiles and hearing them laugh. and here I was again complaining to God about my circumstance and my desires. He yet again has had to show me that it's not about me, but about His glory. I am honored to be here this month and I really wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now, I know I have a lot to learn from these girls and to just be a small impact in each others lives is all part of God's big plan. God knows what He is doing and He also knows the desires He's placed in my heart. He is showing me both sides of human trafficking and I know there is still so much to see, to be praying for and to do to fight this.

so join me in praying for the girls here. Thanking the Lord that they have been given a future of hope and not of being in the human trafficking industry. Click here for their website if you would like more information- they are actually connected in a way to where I was for the month of the Philippines too!

annnnd watch this awesome video below my squadmate Bethsaida made about our week here so far :]

love.

Fri, 8 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Oh China travel day. you were as bad as our Africa travel week... only not as hot.

I can't explain it better than my squad mate Alecia did. She was on a different train than I, but for the same amount of time so you will get the same idea

"We arrived in China and it took about 33+ hrs to get to our final destination by train. We get on the train and it was packed. I thought I had accidentally walked into the local saloon. Cigarette smoke was everywhere. I hoped that we would be passing through this car. No, not quite. At the moment our seats were being occupied by Chinese men. It was chaotic, loud and I was tired. So we stood in line waiting for people to get in their seats. After about 15-20 mins the line moved and we were able to get to our seats. I can't really describe how chaotic it was. People were everywhere, luggage was everywhere. It wasn't a dirty train, but it was packed with people and their stuff. I took my shoes off, stood on the seat (because there was really nowhere else for me to go) put my headphones in, closed my eyes and hoped the chaos would soon be worked out"

so back to my train- when I feel asleep there was three to the bench like there should be, but when I woke up there were four in my row. Somehow another Chinese man had made his way next to me! ha. anyways, while I was sitting in misery thinking of how my grandmother would instantly come to my rescue if she could, God had me thinking.

At the beginning of the month God had led me to Grace. Towards the end of the month he was teaching me the same thing, that:

In China we didn't really have a set schedule or things to accomplish. We worshiped every morning asking for the Spirit to lead us and set up divine appointments. There was freedom for His Spirit to lead us to new relationships and opportunities. Without giving too much detail one of the places He led us was to a tattoo/skating parlor. As I was there one day getting to know my new friends, I began to realize that no matter what country I have been in, no matter what kind of climate, no matter what month of the race we were on, no matter if the people I met could speak English or not, no matter how poor or developed the places we have lived, no matter anything the ONLY thing that has been a constant has been God's love.

it has been extravagant. and free. I have seen it change lives. I have seen power in his love. and it has been all we have needed to get from place to place. If you were to ask me whats the number one thing God has taught me from the race, the one thing to sum it up I would say this.

and it is nothing I have done on my own, or P squad has done or even the world race has done for...

"The Kingdom of God does not advance in this world through human endeavor.
It advances through the life of Jesus Christ flowing through His servants
who have died to themselves and their own desires."

so I challenge you. ask the Lord for His strength and His presence and go out today and show God's love to a stranger. to a coworker. to an old friend. it doesn't matter where you are or who you are or what you do. God's love is the same everywhere. and it can conquer ANYTHING :D

grace.

Mon, 4 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

before going into mainland china, my team had the opportunity of staying in Hong Kong for a week of ministry. There i got to visit my good friend Will Knoll- it was such a delight to see a face from home. we missed you Sarah!!

Will and I and then Leah and I on her birthday!!^^

We also had the opportunity of going into the red light district. The first night my squadmate Leah Mohrig and I decided to break off and just walk up and down the street praying. praying for the western men in the area and for the women. Most of the girls in the area we were in were from the Philippines. They come over on 6 month visas to work in the sex industry to earn money that they can take back and provide for their families. Since we had just come from the Philippines, it was a great conversation starter with the girls. Thanks God! we even knew how to tell them they were beautiful in their own language! In Hong Kong, the bars are not as open and so we were not allowed by the madams to talk to a lot of the girls, but we weren't going to let that discourage us.

and then we met Grace.

she was beautiful standing there. She spoke to us even though she was afraid of getting in trouble. She still would have to try and get guys while we were talking to her, but I could see her smile and that she was happy we were just wanting to be her friend. We asked her is she enjoyed China over her home and she said no, but that she did have friends here that she trusted and they took care of each other. She said she missed being able to go to church with her grandmother like when she was a little girl. She works 7 nights a week and never gets a day off. This was her 5th time coming for 6 months at a time to work and she said she was very exhausted, but had to provide for her family :[ She also told us that we were the first people to actually want to get to know her, that most all of her "customers" are strangers to her. She was excited to be going back home soon in April tho.

we got to go back two nights later. This time, Leah and I had a note we wanted to give her. We went to the club, but she was working at first so we waited. After a while she came out with the biggest smile on her face. She was so excited to see us. We had to tell her sadly we were leaving the next day, but we wanted her to know how much God loved her and how much we loved her. Grace went inside and came back out with 100HKD (about $15) for us to take ourselves to lunch. She said she did not have the time off of work to take us, but wanted to. Our contact told us that that was a huge gesture for Grace to do, that they work so hard for very little and that her giving us that money meant she trusted us and loved us.

I know this was all God. We only got to talk to Grace for two nights, but I know she got to see His love for her. Leah and I left praying and knowing that His love is strong enough to overcome anything. We left with broken hearts, but not broken spirits praying that Grace would decided not to come back to Hong Kong to work again after this time- praying that she would trust in God to provide for her family. praying that Grace would get the rest she needs and that she knows her worth in Christ.

[God's love is stronger than anything].

hope.

Fri, 1 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You keep me safe;
You stretch forth Your hand against the fury of my enemies; Your right hand will save me.
The Lord will make good His purpose for me; O Lord, Your love endures forever;
do not abandon the works of Your hands."
Psalm 138

the scripture I read right before heading into China^

Ni Hao (pronounced knee-how) friends and family!!!! long time no talk. It's good to be back to the blogging world.

Right now I am currently in Bangkok, Thailand. we arrived just last night and we'll be headed up North to Chiang Mai in a day or so. Last month the P squad was in China! Culturally, China has been the biggest shock for me- even though it is a developing country... with squatty potties everywhere and hawking being considered normal, seeing lots of baby butt cheeks, finally being able to learn how to eat with chopsticks, playing frogger everyday trying to cross the streets, taking the most crowded train ride I have ever been on- yes even worse than Africa- and not forgetting it is mandatory to throw up a peace sign in every picture you take...

China is a closed country. Which means it is okay for Christians to visit, but not to evangelize and share the Gospel. There are government churches also, but they are extremely regulated and watched, just like the internets. So there is a lot I cannot talk about over the blog and pictures I would love to show you all, but for the safety of our contacts and the people we met I will not be able to. I would however LOVE to tell you all about it over coffee or mexican food or crawfish or anything yummy once I am home in less than two months! crazy. I can say though that it was an incredible month seeing God work from behind the curtain in small and new ways.

Lia Bia's drawing for P squad for the month^

This is a journal entry from 3/19:

Lord, unlock this city, this country. help the oppressed- those who can't worship You freely. I pray they can soon. We come alongside of You to fight for them. Protect them and their hearts for the things of this world and of other religions. Let Your light shine through China. Let Your people come to know you. set up divine appointments for those You want us to touch today and show them more of who you created them to be. Lead us by Your Spirit Lord. I know You are here, let this place echo Your worth.

and this place sure did. all of the above. He protected us so we could praise and worship Him every morning. He protected our intercession and never left our sides. He brought us alongside people who have dedicated their lives to serve a God with all they have in obedience despite the location. He gave us a month of just living life, helping us to prepare for our re-entry back home. There was much laughter and joy and also challenges... He challenged me to look at my own faith in the midst of persecution, in the midst of a country who is not free. Thank you Father for reveling more and more of Yourself to me everyday. The more you reveal, the more I fall in love with You El Heffe :]

****

some pics from sight seeing:

scorpion^ yummm.

The Great Wall^

we got to ride bikes through out Beijing, it was one of my most fav days on the race :D

one fish. two fish. red fish. blue fish.

Tue, 1 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

These are videos back from our adventures at the beginning of January on our way to Cape Town. if the video links don't work through your email, just click below:

uno.

dos.

tres.

face to face.

Tue, 1 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

we are back in Manila for our second to last debrief until the end in May- crazy. real quick: my team needs lots of prayer. we have gone through a lot in the past 48 hours. we are sick. Kimberly had to have her wisdom teeth taken out today and is in a lot of pain and we had to say a very hard goodbye today as well. mostly we all just need rest but there is so little time for it. Thanks mucho.

****

this month has been all about relationships. building them. forming them. with the kids at the orphanage. with the house moms. with the IVCF college ministry. within the basketball ministry. within the prison (which sadly we were only able to do for a week). within the church. all revolving around Jesus Himself.

I haven't been able to put this month into words just yet. but it has been an amazing way to start off Asia. I have loved seeing the hearts of the people. the lives of my new friends and the hope they have for the future. I really hope God plans to bring me back to Malabaylay at some point. Mom, you would love the kidos! So until I can put what all God has been doing this month into words or until I get home to tell you over coffee enjoy my fav pictures! and for some of the kids I cannot put names with faces for their protection.

yummy pinas we ate all month!

Kaamulan Festival- awesomeness.

****

the adorable kidos at the orphanage:

****

<3 Kim, Roxanne and Marla <3

Kimbo and I on her 23rd birthday!

Belen and I (one of the house moms) love her!

****

IVCF friends:

Jonah!

the gang and Rose!

****

Basketball ministry:

****

my small group girls with Christy, Jess, and Stacey!

all the ladies of the month :]

love you Jess and Tara^

love these two!

****

mural we did in the kid's kitchen:

and the church we help build:

off the grid for the month of march.

Tue, 1 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I'm not ready to leave the Philippines. boo.

I feel God has so much more He could teach me here and relationships I would love to continue to grow. BUT God knows where He wants me.

Where God is sending us next month is somewhere I cannot tell you guys. For the month of March we will be in a closed country. What does this mean? For the safety of our contacts, sadly I will not be able to blog about anything going on ministry wise. I will also not even have internet access. Just be praying God's protection over us, especially for our contacts. I'm stoked to be going here- mainly because I have no idea what to expect! And please if you do know where I will be don't post anything about the location on my blog or facebook. thanks friends.

and some good news!!
we officially know our coming home date!!!!!!

drum roll pleaz

I will be back on USA soil at LAX airport on Saturday May 28th!! that is less than 90 days. crazy. annnnd I will be back in Dallas on May 29th at 6PM get excited friends :D

****

Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
   you preserve my life.
You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes;
   with your right hand you save me.
The LORD will vindicate me;
   your love, LORD, endures forever"
   do not abandon the works of your hands.

Psalm 138: 7-8

****

see you guys in a month. until then follow this advice:

sleeping bags and cricket.

Fri, 25 Feb 2011 00:00:00 GMT

videos done by my awesome teammate mr. durick of our time doing ministry in Cape Town!! enjoy :D

ONE WAY, JESUS!

Fri, 18 Feb 2011 00:00:00 GMT

800 high school students + my new pink hair + rockin it out for Jesus all day = best day of my month :]

I woke up on Wednesday not having a clue of what to expect you get use to it on the race. All I knew was we'd be going to help out with small groups at a high school event for the local graduating seniors (or as they are called here- 4th year students). All five teams would be going with no one left behind for baby duty so I knew it must be a big event. we pull up to the pavilion to easily over 800+ students all dressed in their bright blue and pink uniforms. We take our seats just as the first speaker is stepping up to the stage. I'm expecting the speaker to talk about the students' future, college you know the normal senior year talks you hear back home. Instead he begins to present the full on Gospel- the whole Romans road presentation. no reservations. no hidden meanings. the real deal. I then begin to look over the program and see the "future/career" talk is coming later along also with a talk titled "True Love Waits". interesting

only half of the kids^^

After the first speaker, we break up into our small groups. There were so many more kids there than planned that each racer- all 30 of us- end up with our own group of about 20 kids. no pressure, right? the first group is mostly a get to know you/ice breaker time. After some fun games, I ask my kids if they have any questions based on the first talk and the one and only question I get is the are you single question. ha great so after ignoring that one then I ask what they are most excited about for college and all the boys practically in unison say "the girls!" OMG I think to myself this is going to be fun these kids could care less about the Gospel. small group one: failure. how do you make an impact with such short time?

we head back in for the second speaker only to do a fun sing/worship time first. and again to my surprise we are singing full on gospel/church/youth group/christian summer camp songs. my first thought is "this can't be for a public school, can it??" back in the states this would never fly. teaching the gospel, worshiping the Lord and later on talking about the importance of abstinence and being informed on STDS. okay maybe the last, but not into this kind of detail- at least not in Texas.

To make a long day short- as the time went on, I began to see a huge culture difference than the kids back home. I've never danced and jumped and been that sweaty so much for Jesus like I did this day. it was AWESOME. I felt like I was back at summer camp at Pine Cove only this time around with hundreds of Filipino kids screaming for joy. hundreds of kids jumping out of their comfort zone all for Christ when their image means everything for them at that age. I never would of done what they did at high school. never. I saw their love for Jesus and their pure innocence. and then my heart just broke for them. In the midst of jumping around I realized the pain they did not even know yet. I suddenly wanted to be able to do anything in my power to save them from the world. from heartbreak. from boys. from sex. from it all. to tell them none of that even mattered. but I didn't know how. how do you talk to kids about stuff like that when you only have 3 small sessions with them? and especially to a culture so shy to even tell you their name. I had know idea what I was doing, but God knew.

I left on a high after doing the train with Kimberly and getting up on stage in front of hundreds for the first time in my life not caring about anything else but worshiping our awesome Father. but I also left upset that I couldn't of done more. later that night, William (our contact) comes to tell us a couple things about the event that was not normal:

1. the event was not even mandatory for the students. In America, most every kid would of probably just skipped school that day or not have come back after lunch, but I realized how important an education is to the culture here. It is not something that is just freely given to everyone. it is a privilege and when given these kids don't let their families down. Also, their senior year of high school is when they are 15 and 16, not 18. I thought of myself at 15 I didn't even know what I wanted to do with my life when I was 20, let alone 15! man. I was more worried about my clothes and image at 15 and boys than about Jesus. than about my future.
2. Will goes on to tell us that the event turned out to be SO big and successful that the principle had already that day scheduled it for next year AND that the surrounding smaller cities already caught word and wanted to schedule the event for their 4th year students for NEXT WEEK.
3. Will tells us that most of the students here in Maylaybalay City call themselves Christians, but only because of their parents. Most of those kids have never truly had the Gospel laid out for them.

so would I say the day was a success. absolutely. not because of the numbers, not because of the fun (even though that was the best part), but because come March these kids will be graduating and most of them heading off to college right down the road. Some will be becoming engineers or doctors or teachers- and these were the more fortune kids. this day was a success because I know they will always remember it. it was not normal for them. it was an experience us growing up back home get to be a part of every summer if not more. for them it was a first and probably last. God had already come before any of us racers and laid the foundation. I pray they keep their innocence. That they remember how much God loves them and made them in His image. I pray pray pray that they never make the mistakes and have to feel the pain that I and so many others have been through at a young age because of the things and people we put our identities in instead of Christ. man my heart breaks for them and even though I didn't get to share my story with all those kids, God has shown me a whole new area of compassion in me I didn't even know I had. and I cannot wait to rock it out again for Jesus, just like when I was 14 or now 24 it never gets old! Those kids taught me something this day to never hold back when it comes to the Lord and to always remember that even just your presence can make an impact when the Lord is shinning brightly from you. Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words :D